This picture was taken in my final year of university. At this point in time, I was at the brink of my career, embarking on the transition into nursing as a registered practitioner. I felt certain of my purpose and the path I must follow. During this stage, everything felt new and the opportunities were endless-I was filled with ambition.
Nearly three years and an equivalent amount of jobs later, the future has been shrouded by uncertainty-I am unsettled. Although I have learned a lot about what I do not want to do, I have lost sight of past clarity. Years of continuous research have been less than fruitful. Positions similar to the one I developed in my mind are all clinically removed leading me to question the existence of my destiny. The variation I once cherished has become a curse. My previous justifications for seeking new roles no longer feel valid. Suddenly, I am conscious of affecting my employability. Is this how nurses become bitter and callous in roles they have outgrown?
I find solace in knowing I am unable to answer this. I possess enough self-awareness to avoid cynicism. During placements and jobs I have witnessed the tell-tale signs of the phenomenon referred to as ‘burnout’. The short fuse. The jaded attitude. The absence of desire to teach or learn. With an extensive list of motivators, the drive to find passion before resentment is greater than ever. I can’t help but notice the pressure.
subcutaneous 